Brandishing and Bribes

As is natural with settling in a new city for a relatively long period of time, days become ordinary. On Monday we ran full-tilt on schedule. Leaving by 8:30 AM, doing work all day, and arriving home in time to cook dinner, read, and relax.

Despite the achievement of normality, we are still quite aware of our extraordinary surroundings. Though easy to forget temporarily, the fact that we are living and working in Africa, of all continents, still weighs on our minds. I love being here, exploring this new city and noticing all the subtle differences between here and home. Besides all the obvious changes that I have experienced like driving on the left and the multiplicity of languages, it is the less noticeable ones that are the most interesting and, admittedly, the most humorous. Allow me to list some for you:

Traffic lights, though they operate in the exact same way as in the States, are actually called "Robots". No joke. And that isn't an informal name, either. The streets will be painted with "Robot Ahead 200m" or there will be signs posted warning of an upcoming robot. I still can't help imagining a 20 foot tall mechanical, violent creature in the middle of the road when I'm about to turn a corner after being forewarned of an upcoming robot. When I get home, I look forward to telling people about South Africa's abundant population of traffic-directing robots.

In an effort to manage the 23% unemployment here, the government and various business have thought of creative ways to pay people. On of the most humorous is the job of "flag waver." At the site of almost every construction job along the highway on my way to work, there is always a man or woman standing along the road where the construction is, waving a large neon-orange flag. They will be there even if nobody is working on the site, and each will have a different amount of enthusiasm for their job. Some will provide passers-by with one apathetic wave every couple seconds while others will flourish their flag with passion. In addition to flag twirlers, other occupations include a designated person at the grocery store who will weigh your vegetables for you and gas station attendants who have to be the ones who operate the pump and check your motor oil.

Though perhaps not a specifically South African cultural tidbit, the earliness of stores closing is really bothersome. Honestly, most stores will be closed by 5pm during the week and won't open on Saturday or Sunday. I'm hoping that this is just a winter thing when the tourists are gone, because if this what it is like during the summer then I feel really bad for the population.

Tuesday was Youth Day, a public holiday that memorializes the slaughter of 80 young people by the police at an Apartheid protest in 1960. As a public holiday, it meant that Toukam and I had the day off. We were hoping to go on top of Table Mountain, but we awoke to sadly cloudy skies. Making the most of what the weather had provided, we slept in and eventually went to a local German-owned bakery, where we got various baked goods and coffee to start our morning off right. Returning to the apartment, I was momentarily at a loss of what to do, mainly because I finished Atlas Shrugged on Monday! It was a great victory- vanquishing all 1200 pages. I am now much more informed about the ways of the Libertarian. Her philosophy is very interesting and doubtlessly unique, but I'm afraid I'll refrain from subscribing to it. There are valuable tidbits, yes, but as a whole it is a very depressing philosophy. Then again, it's better than socialism/communism...

I decided to work on my current occupation- applying for an opinion column in Columbia's daily newspaper, the Spectator. I wrote a piece about Reagan last December, so they approached me with the application. I had thought about getting a regular (bi-monthly) column, but I was motivated anew when they gave me the application. I'm almost done with it, and the article that I'm turning in with the application (it's a requirement to write an original sample) is entitled "Be 'Close-Minded'". I'm still working it out, but if I get the column, you'll be able to see it online as I plan on making it my first piece. After finishing most of the app, Toukam and I thought about potential names for the column, among which are "Right on Time," "Rightly Yours," "Right After This," "Right Time, Right Place," and (in a reference to the great William F Buckley) "Standing Athwart." If I am fortunate enough to get the column, I'll be wanting your input, my dear Reader, for its name.

Wanting to get outside to enjoy what little sunlight the day had to offer, we walked to the convention center to see the Cape Town Book Fair. What was going to be a pleasant browsing of the best books publishers had to offer turned into a full exhibition of South African sketchiness. Upon finding an entrance into the main conference hall, we were stopped by a stout security guard who asked for tickets. Not having any, we asked how much they were and where they were procurable. He asked if we were students, but Toukam was the only one with a student ID, so they wanted me to pay about 10 bucks to get in, which I didn't find worth it. Eventually the security guard, through plenty of hints, indicated that we could just pay him and his friend to get in. Finding that ridiculous and completely not worth it, we turned to walk away. They continued to talk with us, and eventually it seemed like they were going to let us in, so we walked right in and they didn't stop us. After a good 3 minutes of walking around, the security guard intercepted us again and bothered us to "buy a ticket", meaning bribe him. Completely aghast that he thought the book convention was that important to us, we told him that we really didn't care and left the convention. We consoled ourselves by telling to each other that it totally wasn't worth it, and instead we got a 5 dollar lunch at the cafeteria.

We walked back home and spent the afternoon reading, going to the internet cafe, and cooking. Overall, an interesting Youth Day indeed. Hopefully next time we're in the position to bribe someone it will be for something actually important.